Latest Tweets:

petitelappin:

image

This child who came to my house tonight is literally the funniest human being on the planet. She complimented me on having both lollipops and mini Three Musketeers available because “a lot of houses these days don’t give you a fruit flavor option.” She was very solemn about this.

(via hardmountaindew)

laughingpokemon:

duckbunny:

aropride:

aropride:

“nothing is real atoms never touch each other youve never touched anything in your life” ok. well when i pet my dog he is soft and when he licks my hand it is wet and that is far more real to me than whatevers going on at an atomic level

what my atoms are doing is their fucking business man i’m busy trying to stop my dog from eating tissues directly out of the box

nuclei don’t touch, but the nucleus is not the core of reality. reality is made of electrons dancing. reality is made of bonds.

you pet your dog and the atoms that are you brush up against the atoms that are him, and the electrons that are you press into the electrons that are him, and both of them change their movement.

electrons of course are not really particles and do not really move.

you pet your dog and the electron-orbitals of your skin overlap with the electron-orbitals of his fur, and both are changed by the contact. you are not made of little motes floating alone in a void. you are a single unfathomable chord formed of a trillion vibrations, and so is he. and the note you play is changing at every moment by what you touch and how you breathe, and so is his. and atoms do not really have edges, and to touch is to interact, and when you put your hand on your dog the universe does not know that you are separate. the song expands to hold you both.

image

(via spongebobssquarepants)

lakemojave:

lakemojave:

Sorry my posts haven’t been as frequent or funny as usual. It’s because I’m eating well, sleeping regularly, and exercising

image

(via herecomesnaya)

bring-us-back-light:

oobbbear:

oobbbear:

What do y’all mean by you can open orange with hands that thing is unbreakable what the hell

image

I usually bite a little opening on the skin and suck it dry then peel it to eat the dry meat

I thought everyone does this…

hey op. are u a vegetarian vampire or smth?

(via is-that-what-i-think-it-is)

transprincecaspian:

caleblandrybones:

men invented maps they had to spread on tables so they could watch each other bend over hands flat arms outstretched

image

(via is-that-what-i-think-it-is)

argumate:

but how can I do this five minute task if I’m leaving in thirty minutes

(via fluent-in-lesbianism)

bashhowardproductions:

Interview with the vampire is sooo funny because jacob anderson is giving the performance of a lifetime as a black man struggling with identity in the early 1900s through the metaphor of vampirism and sam reid spends all of his screentime prancing around like a cartoon pony on amphetamines and theyre both equally captivating to watch

(via theautumnriverleaves)

effemimaniac:

normies will call it a “scalp massage” instead of admitting that they like being pet like a puppydog or perhaps a kitty

(via scrumptiousangst)

bladelei:

memeuplift:

image

Become Ungovernable

(via spongebobssquarepants)

b0nkcreat:

b0nkcreat:

b0nkcreat:

just told my mom i was gonna freak it sensitive style and she hyped me up with “ooh quiet down…. quiet down..” while i was dancing

image

live reenactment

happy almost 80 thousand (?!?!??!?!!) notes to this post. Please stop asking to date my mom she is already married to the grind

(via bryoria)

(via snufkunt)

throwupgirl:

image
image

AUTISM RULES.

(via lordandgodoftheobvious)